The rain splattered violently against the almost empty streets. It was early morning and Phoenix’s radio blared with rhapsodies and sonnets of rock bands that she believed wrote actual poetry. She wore her hair loose - draped along her shoulders. A coat of cherry lip gloss stained her virgin lips, her perfume coated the casual sophistication nature ascribed in her. And she smiled at her reflection in the mirror, then she frowned - realizing that she was going to watch the movies alone.
She looked at the framed photograph that innocently lay atop her dresser, she saw the face of the man she chose to fall in love with.
A blank smile crossed her lips as she gently carried the frame to the trashcan just beside her desk. It was time…
Everything has lost their magic: disenchantment came. And now, the once perfect love has lost its meaning.
Theirs was a boy meets girl story, where the beginning scene was alright. But as the reel ran, promises kept breaking and she was a dream-turned-burden, and he hated her the way she hated him.
“I have problems.”, he scoffed blankly.
“Like what?”, Phoenix asked, the impatience in her face mirrored in his own.
“You‘re one of them.”
Bull. “So now I‘m causing you problems?”, she asked blankly. The pain was gone and she could only laugh at him when he complained of her demands. Suddenly, she was the selfish one who never waited or even cared.
Then he comes back later, repentant and ever so loving. And at first, she gave in. They ran their meaningless play for four damn months, till nothing hurt her anymore - not even the thought of losing him forever.
There was no love, nor hate, nor regret - there was nothing.
And she wondered why it felt so human, to not feel anything at all.
“You wanted to talk?”, he asked.
“I‘m breaking up with you.”, she coolly said, looking straight into his eyes. She watched as he took a deep breath.
“Why?”
“Lies aren’t truths.”
Silence filled the air. Phoenix closed her eyes and took in the rewarding warmth that filled her after she said what she just said.
“Friends?”, she later asked with a genuine smile.
He harshly exhaled, stood up and walked away.
The prince has turned into a toad long before midnight, and she was thankful her first kiss wasn’t stolen by her gorgeously sinful ex. She chuckled as he turned and looked at her intently with his beautiful brown eyes that didn’t make her heart flutter anymore, “Did you ever really love me Phoenix?”
Phoenix crossed her legs and crossed her arms across her midsection, leaning her back more closely to her chair. Her hair ethereally cascaded around her face, highlighting the beauty that made men fall in love with her - the very same beauty that sent them all away. With a smile that made the world fall to its knees, she softly answered, “You never did.”
He once said he wanted to grow old with her in Milan, said he’d take her to Paris and spend nights with her by the sea. Funny. Standing before her own reflection, Phoenix saw the woman that once disappeared into the abyss of a confusion between love and wanting.
Fairytale stories tell us of enchantment and the happiness it brings - the songs, dances and magic wands that fairy godmothers tend to misplace, of glass shoes and dwarves and mirrors that spoke to tell the truth.
But reality teaches us that fairytales exist in parallel, divided and most of the time, dark dimensions of the modern universe and of modern love,
and that disenchantment is sorcery at it’s best.
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